channing tatum: i'm your husband, you were in a car accident
If you change the way you look at things, the...
every teacher before they draw on the board: im not an artist
Woman gives birth
Woman: I think I'll name her Sara.
Doctor: I'm sorry, but that name's already taken.. May I suggest Sara89 or Sara_13?
thewayyoudothethingsyoudo: ATTENTION INTERNET: THIS IS A PENGUIN BEING TICKLED. Omg aw.
Stressing over school.
anthonyvann: Shit’s fucking annoying.
my thoughts during school
me: i wonder when my teacher lost their virginity
me: what if a man with a gun walked in right now
me: whens lunch
me: the fuck is this
me: why are you here
me: can i kill all of you with one bullet
me: what if i locked all the girls in the locker room and made them fight to the death like the hunger games
me: what if i stood up on the desk and ripped off my pants
last week: 100 degrees
this week: 4 degrees
My mom + My dad - Condom = Greatest person alive
me texting my mom: okay, see you at home. love you.
my mom texting me: C u l8r. Luv u 2.
My name is Junie B. Jones. The B stands for...
Caesar: Katniss Everdeen, girl on fire!
Peeta: I was on fire too.
Snow: Here's your crown, Katniss.
Peeta: I won the games too.